Welcome to my complaint department. Please take a number. I'll hear all of your complaints, you just have to form a line. Single file, please. Yes, I know that the microwave in the breakroom exploded because I left aluminum foil on my meatball sub. I just want you to understand that I would normally catch the foil if I wasn't busy trying to track down Mr. Stephenson to explain that snide email I accidentally "Sent To All". Oh, there you are, Mr. Stephenson. Please take a number, but soon I'll explain it all to you. You have to understand that when I said "fat", it was a typo, I meant to type "phat". That's what the kids these days say when they mean "groovy". And I'm pretty sure your parents weren't married when you were conceived, so the rest of that email, though improper for work, was technically true. And I know I took your spot today, Bill. You were the employee of the month last month and your car got towed just because I was late for work and didn't want to walk from the back of the lot. And Janet, I know I said I'd call you back, but honestly you were just way too needy that night. It's not you, it's me. Well, and you were lousy in the sack. Everybody just take a number!!!